You've Got a Friend in Me
by Aeron Caris
Summary: Series of "shots" extending the AU from "In which Loki Wins the Superbowl." Or, in which Darcy gets to thank Loki, and Loki continues to mess with current events of sorts to make Darcy have something to be happy about in her SHIELD monitored life (which ruined her career as a political scientist before it even started). Or, when Loki got a friend who wasn't also Thor's friend
1. Chapter 1

Darcy Lewis sat at the desk, bent over the papers, the little rubber page turner on her finger that she called the extra-thick finger condom in her head (she hoped she never said that out-loud), counting it out into the groups of twenty-five, while she waited for the archaic scanner to reset and connect to the equally archaic printer software. Alright, it was only two or three years old, but she couldn't resist the urge to call it archaic. It was an entire operating system behind the times, and she liked to keep herself up-to-date as much as possible. It was a rough switch when she got home. The hot-keys were all different.

"Darcy...you going to take your break any time soon?" Haley asked, her bright red hair standing out in the bland environment. "I just got back."

Darcy mentally counted her coffee money, knowing this was her last day of work for the week, and payday was next week, which meant her coffee money needed to last through that week. She was dead asleep on her feet. She'd only gotten a couple hours' sleep. "Yeah. I'll go now. The scanner is acting up."  
"Of course," Haley said, with a laugh. She'd been the office bitch before Darcy had gotten the job. It wasn't using her political science degree, but it was bringing money in, and it didn't require a hundred thousand security clearance forms. "There's a guy at the counter asking for you though."

Darcy spun around in her chair, a stunned look on her face, as she pushed her glasses up on her nose, and slipped her jacket back on over her frilly semi-low-cut work shirt. "I'm not even one of the normal people here yet."  
"He said he knew you in New York. Were you there..."

"No. Right after though." Darcy said, wondering who it was. "What color hair?" It had been two years since she'd left New York, and she was sick of people asking about if she'd been there during the alien invasion.

"Black."

Stark. Banner if it was some sort of weird light. She sighed, grabbing her purse, slinging the slim little thing over her shoulder, hoping that everything wouldn't get too crazy. Considering Stark had hated her last she saw him and Banner disliked her attitude in the lab with Jane and company. She rounded the corner towards the front counter, smiling at one of her co-workers that wasn't too rotten. "Hey Ames—I'm taking my break. I clocked out."

"I guess I had good timing then?" A familiar voice asks her, and she looks up to see a familiar black haired figure leaning against the counter. Last she'd heard in one of Jane's sporadic emails that were attempts to get her to apologise, he'd had to go back to Asgard because his mom had gotten him some sort of Asgardian community service deal. Darcy hadn't heard more, she'd blocked Jane when Jane had gotten particularly biting later in that same email.

"I thought you'd gone back to your childhood home?" Darcy says, not answering his question, letting herself out into the atrium and heading towards the door.

"Obviously I'm here. In Washington." Loki's voice is calm and measured, but Darcy sees the roll of his eyes in her peripheral vision. "How long is your break?"

"Fifteen minutes." Darcy said, letting herself through the door, holding it open for Loki to follow.

"When do you get off?" Loki continued his questions.

"Why are you here Loki? I've been trying to avoid the shit-fest from Puente Antigua and New York and all that." Darcy doesn't mention the fact that SHIELD had decided to prevent her from getting what would have been the quintessential first step to her dream job, so she was here instead.

"I find myself missing conversing with people who are actually interesting."  
"I'm not that interesting. Don't you have issues with lowly mortals?" Darcy said, pointedly waiting for Loki to hold open the front door of the building she worked in.

Loki rolled his eyes and opened the door, holding it open for her with an exaggerated bow. "You're not lowly."

"Yeah, I kind of am." She held up the badge that had been clipped to her skirt pocket and waved it, before tucking it into a front pocket on her purse. "I have bathroom privileges and I have a shared log-on to the computer."

"You think outside the box that so many mortals put themselves in." Loki commented, voluntarily hitting the button for the crosswalk, having noticed Darcy's eyeballs lock onto the Forza across the street and down a block. "Is that little place any good? It doubles a wine bar..."

"I've never been there to drink. Just for caffeine." Darcy shrugs. "I'm on a budget. No roommate."

"How big of an apartment?" Loki asked, biting his lip and giving her the look that had caused her to give in and try one of the crazy specialty burgers during half-time at the game.

"Why don't we back up?" Darcy suggested, as she started pressing the button repeatedly, wanting to annoy Loki for just showing up randomly. "Thanks for what you did. My brother died happy."

Loki looked at her, startled, eyes widening for a moment. "I..."

"This is the part where you say 'I'm so sorry Darcy,' and offer a hug." Darcy snapped, not wanting to talk about her brother.

The crosswalk chirps and she starts to walk across, Loki hesitating, before following her. He waits until the otherside to grab her arm and hug her. "I am sorry. I'm sorry for the shit SHIELD pulled to ruin your career before it started."

"You know about that?"

"Jane mentioned it." Loki sneered. "She said it was what she deserved."

"Oh really? After EVERYTHING I did for her?" Darcy felt irate.

"If it makes you feel any better my mother hates how much of a kiss ass she is." Loki smirked, remembering how much of a fool Jane Foster had been on her first trip to Asgard.

In the end, Loki walked away from that fifteen minute break with Darcy's apartment keys and her grocery list, after he'd waved a wad of bills that he claimed were from Stark. Darcy considered that vengeance. If they were counterfeit, she trusted Loki not to get caught.

Darcy entered her apartment to the smell of the Friday barbeque from her favorite grocery store, and she dropped her purse on her coffee table, kicking her shoes off to wherever they landed as she padded into her tiny dining nook that she'd put together via a few creative thrift store purchases. There's even wine. Loki is already eating, and he doesn't look up as she sits down and serves herself.

"You ready to tell me why you're here instead of listening to my sob story?" Darcy asked, after she'd scarfed through one serving. She'd been living on grilled cheese and ramen lately, with scrambled eggs too. Having a full meal that was normal was wonderful. Especially since the pulled pork from the market was absolutely melt-in-her-mouth good. "Thanks for dinner."  
"You've lost weight." He sounds rather crass commenting on it, but she didn't care, she was too happy serving up a second, smaller serving.

"You're here mysteriously," She countered, unbuttoning her blouse and stripping it off so she was in her tank-top and pencil skirt, using a free hand to work her thigh-high nylons off. They'd been a bit more expensive then the tights, but she just couldn't. Too uncomfortable.

"And you're stripping," Loki countered, pouring her more wine, not commenting on the fact that it felt like drinking grape juice to him.

"I'm uncomfortable in my work clothes and I don't want to get bad stains."

"I can fix that if you stain your clothes." Loki seemed petulant. "You were the only person who took the time to try to explain anything to me...to help me fit in...I tried going back to Asgard, but it's just..."

"Just what?" Darcy said, stopping eating, looking up at him with curious eyes, her exhaustion written on her face, but her curiosity overwriting it.

"I don't exactly have a huge crowd cheering for me, everytime I do something even remotely good." Loki whispered, bitterly, draining his glass of wine and just taking the bottle to drink out of.

"You know, that's good wine, I was hoping to get some more," Darcy says, standing up and stepping over to hug him. "What do you say I go throw on some pants and we sit on the couch and I listen to your troubles?"  
Loki looked at her with a glare. "No yellow legal pad and clicking pen."

"Who told you about stereotypical therapists?"

"Jane Foster often threatens..."  
"Jane's a bitch. I thought we agreed on this?"

Loki laughed, grabbing both the wine glasses and the bottle of wine, choosing not to tell Darcy that there was a whole second bottle in the fridge chilling. "We did. Sometime before my brief stint as a quarterback. It was actually quite fun."  
"Not enough chaos though?" Darcy left her work blouse on her chair and the nylons on the floor, reaching to unzip the pencil skirt, then realising that probably wasn't the best thing to do in front of a guy who, for all she knew, was just as warm-blooded as the rest. Like he'd pointed out, she'd already done a bit of a strip-tease. "Too much like Thor swinging mew mew all over the place?"

Loki had forgotten how much of a riot Darcy Lewis was when she started drinking. "Too Thor like indeed. He tried to introduce the game to Asgard."

"Oh god."

"Indeed."

There wasn't a second bed in the house, and Darcy's bed wasn't exactly the right size to accommodate his height, so Loki sprawled on the couch, legs half off, curled up as much as he could, underneath a wool blanket, listening to the rain and the wind, wondering why Darcy had had to run water into the bath tub and leave the faucet dripping when he'd told her he could fix things with magic if he had to.

He smiled though, as he thought of the conversations he'd had with the vibrant brunette all day. She'd said she was his friend.

He hadn't had a friend all his own that wasn't mainly Thor's friend in, well, his whole life. Unless he counted the idiots who he'd worked with once upon a time. But he didn't.

He wondered if Darcy had told her brother what had made the team come back from the metaphorical grave at that superbowl, but he didn't care, instead smiling at the picture Darcy had of him as a quarter-back doing a rather suggestive touchdown dance, framed on her mantlepiece. He got up, padding across the room stealthily, since the apartment walls were paper-thin and gently removing it from it's frame long enough to scrawl a note to her on the back. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to stay too much longer before SHIELD called and issued an ultimatum that he needed to come back. He tucked the significant remnants of Stark's money wad into her purse as well, before curling back up under the blanket, ignoring the fact that it was half off his bare chest, and closing his eyes, slowing his breathing down to be in a synchronous rhythm with the rain, if the rain was subdividing sextuplets in his head.

What was it Darcy said?

Ah yes, he remembered, right before sleep took him. "You've got a friend in me, Loki."

**AN: If you haven't read In which Loki Wins the Superbowl...that's literally the one-shot that establishes the AU that this series of (presumably just) one-shots, will be set in. Post-Avengers. No TDW, even though I loved TDW for the character development and all that. But damn the feels of that movie. **

**For those who read about Loki at the superbowl, it's been two years or so, things have fallen through, and more will be explained if need be in the future one-shots. **

**So far, this is just a friend-fic AU, but feel free to drop a line either via review or pm with ideas and suggestions, as long as we don't start with the hateful type of reviews. I love tasertricks, but I just can't see Darcy/Loki working out long-term if they were ever more than friends. Short-term, probably. Long-term, ehhhh I think Midgard likes being in as one piece as 7 billion plus humans can keep it. **


	2. Chapter 2

Loki frowned, puzzled for a moment, as he spun back around in his chair and went back to entering the information on the scrawled paperwork into the computer database, wondering why the mortals didn't just immediately enter the information into the database, instead of filling out all these endless piles of paperwork.

He also didn't understand what the woman from payroll had just told him. Why would he find it thrilling to fill out his time card? He'd merely find it a way to get money without Darcy complaining that she didn't want to be raided by the secret service for passing counterfeit money. He smiled at the thought of how panicked she'd been when he told her that since he'd been counterfeiting his money after he'd left the wad from Stark in her purse. That had been six months ago. He'd only gotten back into town a few weeks ago, after SHIELD had called him in to keep him on his tether at four am after he'd visited Darcy.

"So when did you move here from Sweden Loke?" The rather annoying woman in the cubicle next door asked, as she hung up her coat and freshened up her lipstick. The woman was an obnoxious blonde flirt. "You don't have a strong accent."

"I went to school in England," he lied, straight off his rather impressive fudged resume. He'd had fun teleporting around, altering the records. He'd refused to drag Darcy with him, even though she'd been pleading for a good day and a half prior to his departure.

"Oh. Did you meet any of the royalty? Or those cute actors the Brits have so many of?"

Loki groaned. "No." The word was terse and angry, and he wished he had this silly cell reception Darcy would ramble on and on about so much, so that he could communicate with her and get some sort of encouragement that living like this was worth keeping SHIELD off his back by staying low. "I need to work Maureen."

"Fine." And she ignores him.

"So I totally got a raise today," Darcy says as a way of greeting, when she walks in five minutes after Loki had stripped out of his slacks and dress shirt, swapping them for loose black pyjama pants and a t-shirt. It was only Monday and he wanted the weekend to be back. He and Darcy always took such interesting little trips around the sound on the weekends. Last weekend, they'd gone up to a little theater in an old logging town called Port Gamble and seen an amateur production of _Pride and Prejudice_. Darcy had been rather annoyed that Loki had stressed her name every time he'd said it, but she'd had her revenge by driving extra slow on the way back. Loki drove like a lunatic.

Darcy knew that it was one of her worst ideas ever to teach Loki to drive then to send him into the DMV to get a license. But now the Washington State DMV had issued a valid c class driver's license to Loke Winter. He'd bought himself a Scion FRS and Darcy had officially decided it was better than her twenty plus year old Honda Prelude.

"By what? Fifty cents?" Loki snapped from where he was curled up on the couch, eating a bowl of cereal, too hungry and too lazy to cook.

"No. A whole dollar." Darcy flopped down next to him, peeling her feet out of her heels, and flexing them, before grabbing the second bowl and the bottle of milk he'd left out on the coffee table, pouring herself a bowl of cereal as well. "Love the dinner plans. Maureen again? Just take her out and be a total asshat."

"I have no interest in dating anyone right now. It would be awkward in our current living situation, and it's best if I don't put my name on an apartment lease." Loki said, ignoring the fact that he had a driver's license, a job, a car in his name, and a few credit cards.

"So the fact that I have a date on Friday is going to raise hackles, or are we good?" Darcy said, informing him that she had a date for the first time.

Loki scowled, finishing off his cereal and pouring a second, slightly smaller bowl. "From what I understand, the man usually takes the woman to his place, not the other way around?"

"What Netflix programs were you watching?" Darcy said, looking at him puzzled. "You don't remember the last date I had?"

Loki rolled his eyes. "I try to forget that." That had been one of his first few nights in the apartment. His displeasure had resulted in a short stalking and then an email from a hotmail account he'd set up just for this purpose, after using Darcy's library card at the library across from the medical building he'd gotten a job, to become as untraceable as he could without magic and without actually taking the time to master midgard technology. A few pictures of her boyfriend with some other women at a club in a sleazy part of Seattle, after Loki had managed to figure out the ferry system, and Darcy had come to Loki sobbing, asking him to watch chick flicks with her. He'd taken a lesson from an incident between Stark and Pepper Potts and brought Darcy cherry amaretto gelato—the good kind—when he showed up with the blu-ray of her just released favorite new chick flick, even though she'd just sent him out to pick up take-out for dinner.

"I still want to know how you became an expert in dealing with break-ups. I mean, I didn't even..." Darcy shut herself up with a large spoonful of cereal, not caring that she sloshed a tiny bit of milk onto one of her work-shirts.

"I had to deal with Stark and his idiocy when it came to his CEO." Loki said, not feeling the least bit guilty that she'd been upset because of his manipulations. He just hadn't liked the guy. He was just using Darcy for her boobs.

"Right. So, are we going to watch something tonight or are we going to just go to bed early and be boring?" Darcy was glad that Loki had moved in when he did—she'd been about to lose the apartment, and him using his skills to get his job so that he could help with rent without counterfeit money so quickly had been a plus. She loved Loki as a junior midget medical secretary. She wished he had to wear scrubs though. Loki in scrubs-that would be a sight.

"Isn't there a game on tonight?" Loki asked, reminding her that it was Monday, and there was probably a football game on. Loki enjoyed watching games with Darcy, yelling at the television when there was a good play or a bad call. He didn't use magic that often, but football games were an exception. They had cranky neighbors.

"It's going to be a lousy one..." Darcy said, reaching for the control anyways, flipping to the guide and entering the numbers for the sports channel.

"So?" Loki said, a lazy smile coming on his face as he got up to grab a couple beers and put the milk and cereal away, along with his bowl, while Darcy took her bowl to go change, while she finished.

"Makes some popcorn at least."

Darcy hadn't expected Jane to ever show up into her life again. She didn't want to see Jane again, not after hearing that Jane had been supportive of SHIELD taking away her community college job and blocking her out of a senatorial aide position.

But no, Jane Foster was standing in the little customer area of her job, looking awkward in her jeans and flannel shirt, considering everyone in this office wore business wear, including Darcy, in her pencil skirt, heels, and neatly tucked in blouse, that actually didn't stretch apart with her boobs, without looking like it was too big for the rest of her.

"What are you doing here? It's eight am on a Tuesday morning. Don't you have a god boyfriend to bang?"

"He's my fiance now actually," Jane started, as if everything was normal. She held up a cream envelope. "This is for you. I've been a bit harsh, and while I still feel hurt by your resignation, I didn't realize your brother was dying...Darcy..."  
"Save it Jane. You don't feel sorry. Did Thor send you to give this to me?"

"No. I want you to come Darcy." Jane sighed. "I came all the way here, by myself, when I'm supposed to be in Colorado at a conference, to apologise and beg you to come."

"I'm not going to kiss you and do the hug routine. I've had to fight hard for what I've got. I don't know if I have vacation time for this."

"Darcy...please..."Jane took a deep breath, sighing. "Look—you have a plus one, bring someone. I just, I want to have someone I know from before all this craziness happened present. The ceremony is in Malibu...the reception...well..."  
"Is gold themed and overly glitzy?" Darcy pretended to be shocked. "You still being a complete dunderhead when you're visiting the home town?"

"How'd you..."

"Grapevine." Darcy smirked, waving her superbowl champions key-ring. "Do I get a plus one?" She took the envelope, shoving it in her purse slightly gently. "I may want to go so I can tell my taser story."

Jane rolled her eyes, then smiled. "Look..."

"Oh. You said you were apologising, which means you get your jean clad ass back here at one when I take my lunch break and you treat me to Tanglewood Grill. Couple blocks down. Make a reservation right now. Get your phone..ready?" Darcy opened her phone to give Jane the number and text Loki that she was going to lunch with Jane and that they'd go out to eat tonight to make up for skipping their usual lunch meet-up. "HALEY! I'M TAKING ALL MY BREAKS WITH LUNCH!" Darcy hollered as Jane wrote the number down on the back of a confirmation sheet for a conference that Jane was apparently cutting.

"You get a plus one Darcy. Unless you want to flirt with the Asgardian hunks," it sounded like Jane was trying to dangle a carrot over her head.

"They're probably all asses." Darcy chirped, as she went back behind the counter. "See you at one Doc. Might wanna call Captain Hammer and let him know where you are."

**AN: So maybe they aren't exactly 100% one-shots that stand alone. Maybe vignettes in a friendship would be a better description. Work is zapping all my energy. I apologise to anyone who has noticed the two slight references to a movie that I try hard not to reference. If you get what I'm talking about, ehehehe sorry. I love that movie for the concept. If you are completely confused...don't worry. I haven't had caffeine today so I'm talking nonsense. **


	3. Chapter 3

"It's pouring down rain even worse now," Darcy whined, stating the obvious, as she tried not to look at the remnants of her poor old car.

"It could be worse. It could be foggy," Loki pointed out, thinking of the recent weather, and the fog that probably would set in soon. "I called a tow. Everything will be fine."

"That asshat didn't even stay!" Darcy clutched her soaked coat closer to her, sneezing suddenly. "The tow can't take us both, or did you tell them..."  
"I'll call a cab if I have to," Loki said, wanting to snap, but in the four months he'd been living with Darcy, he'd realized that when she was like this, the best thing to do was not snap. If he snapped, then things would get ugly. He had put a magic tracer on the hit and run driver, but he didn't tell her, he just kept her out of the road, helped her get the car off the road, and called a tow, even though the car was junk. Darcy would have to call her insurance though, something that Darcy was trying to calm herself down to take care of. Loki pulled out his phone and snapped a few more pictures, before looking at the time. It was five minutes past when the tow was supposed to be here.

"Oh finally!" Darcy cried, stepping out from under her pine tree, waving frantically at the headlights of the approaching tow. "It should hold us both."

Loki turned to give the trooper a sympathetic smile. "We'll be good from here. Thank you." He isn't comfortable with the trooper's presence, but he hides it under his concern from Darcy and making sure that the trooper realises that Loki is answering because Darcy isn't in a state to talk to anyone without causing trouble. The trooper nods and waves to the tow driver, staying until the battered car is winched up onto the flat

It's four hours before Darcy is curled up under all her covers, sniveling, clutching at one of her spare pillows, not even wanting the pint of Haagen Das that he'd picked up when he'd gone out to pick up sourdough bread bowls and a few cans of fake homemade clam chowder.

"My baby is dead! And the insurance is going to be a bitch until they read that report! And the trooper was a jerk..."

Loki doesn't say anything, picking up the mostly eaten remnants of her food, and putting one of his blankets on top of her blankets, cheating a bit on their no-magic except sound dampening to check her temperature, before tucking it up around her shoulders, brushing briefly against her partially bared shoulder in her tank-top. He puts the tray by the sink and heads back to Darcy's room, perching on her desk, eschewing her clothes littered desk chair, just waiting.

Darcy cries herself out, but can't stop shuddering. "I'm still cold." She mumbled, finally, breaking the wait. "Thanks for the blanket."

"You've got a fever." Loki tells her, knowing she'd figure out he'd used magic on her anyways. "Do you want something for it?"

"Ibuprofen in my purse." Darcy's arm darts out briefly to point at the discarded bag on the floor next to her jeans and bra.

Loki grabbed the ibuprofen out of her purse on his way to her side, using magic to summon a glass of water to help her swallow it.

"You aren't supposed to use magic," Darcy whines, as Loki hands her the ibuprofen and water, not bothering to open the ibuprofen up for her and just give her one dose. Instead, he slips out of his sweatshirt, handing it to her to slip on over her tank-top once she's done.

"It's probably that flu you said Haley had." Loki volunteers, wondering what the operating procedure is for a sick friend. Especially since it's Darcy. "Or maybe something from that dive you dragged me to."

Darcy laughes. "You said you liked that poetry reading."

"I did." Loki refreshes her water glass with a lazy flick of his wrist. It's odd to use his magic so lightly, and for a moment he wonders if he's adding insult to injury. If he had been more focused, if he'd kept up with his abilities, his mind drills, his magic practice. He ought to find a way to do it, without drawing SHIELD to their location. "I'm sorry Darcy."

Darcy buries herself deeper in his sweatshirt, sniffing it for a moment, then shrugs. "I don't have to go to the hospital and spend the night in ER." She sneezes, adding to her shivers for a moment. "Can you make me a bubble of warmth on the couch so I can watch Netflix?"

Loki rolls his eyes. "You need to sleep Darcy. No netflix. Besides, I'm paying this month, so no Netflix for you until you get better."

"No fucking way your royal highness." Darcy said, sitting up awkwardly and wrapping the blankets all around her. "Can I borrow some of your sleep pants? They're warmer looking."

"Darcy..."Loki sighed, then stood up, sweeping her up into his arms, blankets and all, untucking them from her bed, using magic again, carrying her to the couch and sitting her down. "I get to choose what we watch."

"And the sleep pants?"

"By royal decree..." He thought for a moment. "...no." He grabbed the remote and hit on on the blu-ray player, before heading to his room to grab the blankets off of his bed, to help her stay warm. "We're watching Leverage."

Darcy frowned for a moment, annoyed at the lack of hotties in it. "There aren't any hotties..."

"We'll watch something with hot guys in it if you take a nap."

"I don't want to sleep."

Loki found himself whispering that he'd told her so, fifteen minutes later when she's asleep on his shoulder, wrapped in fifteen blankets, snoring slightly from her now congested nose. He wanted to try fixing her, but he had already broken the no magic, especially on Darcy, rule twice. So he didn't wake her, turning the volume down on the tv, as he criticized the show, plotting how he'd do better.

Darcy felt like absolute shit when she woke up, her head throbbing, the chills reduced, so that she was sweat-soaked. She was starving, but didn't want to eat, and she was...on the couch? The apartment phone rang, and Darcy scrabbled for the nearby hand-held. "Hello?"

"I haven't got your RSVP Darcy."  
"I'm sick. Shut up bitch." She hung up the phone. Jane had cheap-skated out on the grill and had just brought her a sandwich from Subway.

"You need to spend more time around people who aren't assholes." Loki murmured, causing Darcy to sit up, startled, causing her head to spin. "Careful."

"Why was I..."  
"You fell asleep when they went to Serbia." Loki told her with matter of factly, shifting. "Let me get you more ibuprofen."

"I just want to go back to sleep." Darcy moaned. "Carry me back to bed?"

"This isn't a chick flick Darcy." Loki got up, stretching. "I've got to get to work. I already emailed you in sick."

Darcy pouted. "Fine. I'm going to bed."

Loki considered himself still a master of tricks and mischief and grand angry exits, but Darcy in her fifteen blankets, drowning in his sweatshirt, managed to look dramatic and fantastic. "I give it a ten! Call or text if you need anything! I'll bring home minestrone."

In the end, Loki brought home minestrone and the keys to a new car. Specifically, a mini cooper. It was used, and he'd paid forged cash, but it cheered Darcy up enough so that she'd happily watched Leverage with him, not complaining when he commented over the dialogue that explained what was going on.

"You should write a book about your brand of mischief. Use a pen name. We could make money off of that and not have to spend another day filing paperwork." Darcy suggested, as she wrapped her favorite blanket around her, as she headed back to bed, after Parker dealt with her fears of orphans turning out like she did.

Loki pulled out Darcy's laptop and started writing a story about a female bombshell who alternated between helping and causing more trouble, using chaos and deception. He didn't want it to obvious who the protagonist was. He set it in a fictional world that he based off a conglomeration of his favorite realms, taking liberty here and there to sensationalize it. By the morning, Loki had written an entire novel, hit go on the printer as he started to make breakfast.

Of course, neither of the two of them thought about the consequences of writing a novel that had a good chance of becoming popular.

**AN: I own nothing. Thanks DragonSiren7 for making my long day better by finding a review notice in my inbox. Reviewers go to that special place reserved for chocolate and cheesecake and so on and so forth. FYI- There is no plan for these shots. So the _Leverage _thing is a result of my day. I'm not a fan, it was just on and suddenly Loki is watching it bitching about it. I'm only a mortal.**

**AN 03-06-14: Apparently the dialogue didn't upload. Shit. **


	4. Chapter 4

Darcy Lewis had to admit that there was one thing she and Loki hadn't thought of when she'd offered her spare bedroom to him, in order to make sure she could meet rent, and because she really enjoyed his conversational abilities and pranks. Mostly so she could afford rent in the apartment that she'd chosen because it wasn't furnished, which made it so she could make it hers, and she hadn't really thought about price. Loki had saved her ass. Having to deal with his moping, tricks, sass, snark, and all that, was worth the extra rent. She was particularly attached to her apartment.

That moment when Loki was trashing her apartment in a fit of anger over something that had happened at work had torqued her the wrong way, so she'd headed to the 94th avenue pub and parked her ass on a stool at the bar, while Loki ranted because something had happened at the clinic. Something that had apparently changed Loki's perspective on the world and made him cancel Thai and a comedy film night. Well, Darcy thought, as she looked at her glass rather angrily, he hadn't specifically canceled it, just scared her enough.

"Ms. Lewis, I trust your iPod is still okay?" A voice asked as someone sat down next to Darcy, moving her purse off the stool next to her and she turned her head to see a suited figure that she vaguely remembered, and then realised exactly who she was facing.

"Your goons wiped the hard drive, and I didn't get my computer back. Do you know how pissed off I was, am?" Darcy glared angrily. "And Stark, when he actually spoke to me, when I bitched about wanting to file a complaint about you, he said... oh fuck...you didn't happen to go to clinic on Point Fosdick?"

"Some of my agents did. They mentioned a rather freaked out receptionist?"

"For once, it isn't Maureen being incompetent. I need to get back to my apartment." Darcy pushed her glass away and was glad she'd paid up as she went, instead of building up a tab. She grabbed her purse from where Coulson had put it and got up, feeling panicked. Maybe Thai and a comedy film and a bit of normality and what Loki had thought would be reality might be better than...

"Let me give you a ride." Coulson stood up, walking with her towards the door. "I don't think it's legal to let you drive."  
"No!" Darcy panicked, starting to dig in her purse for her phone, so she could sneak a text to Loki telling him she knew about the SHIELD team in town. "Don't you have agents to order about to steal people's iPods and ruin their lives?"

Coulson smiled, laughing softly. "No. They can function on their own. I was actually wondering if you could explain why you've been avoiding SHIELD's attempts to get you to attend the Foster-Odinson wedding?"

"Because Jane got too big for her britches and starting treating me like shit, because I hated hanging out at Avengers tower because everyone looked down on me and then only decent conversation I had was with Loki?" She takes in Coulson's flinch at the name and wonders if Loki had been able to avoid detection by SHIELD. "Why are you here even? It can't just be me."

"We've noticed high amounts of magic near here, occasionally, in spikes. We think that there could be an Asgardian hiding here, and given the current situation, we need to track down and get the Asgardians to let us know when they're around, to make the search easier."

"Search?"

"You mentioned Loki was your only decent conversation when you were staying at the tower," Coulson lead into the inevitable question that Darcy was dreading. "Have you heard from him?"

Darcy found her keys and her phone, pulling them out and zipping her purse back up. "No. And I'd tell someone if I did. He scares me." Twinge of honesty, twinge of deception, hopefully it tricked Coulson.

He hands her a card solemnly. "That's my direct number. On the back is the direct number to one of my team, who might be a good choice to talk to if you'd rather talk to a female agent. Skye is still in training, but she's recovering from some injuries, and well..."

"She's bored out of her mind? I'm busy. I work full time. I don't usually come out to bars like this."

Coulson smiled. "I know."

Darcy had worked herself up into a full panic by the time she'd made it back to her parking spot at the apartment, having taken the most circuitous and odd route she could, having pulled over in a dead-end street to check her car for any visible traces on it. They probably already had her address, but she was panicking.

Upstairs, she unlocked the door quickly, pushing it open, hand on her taser for the first time in a while, worrying about what she'd find. The apartment is a disaster, like she expected, but she didn't expect Loki slumped down against the far corner, completely disheveled. That wasn't a normal look.

"Loki?" She calls out softly, shutting the door behind her, dropping her purse but keeping her taser.

"You're scared of me now. You've seen that I'm a monster. That I can't change because it's genetic." His voice is low and scared. Darcy knows from the little he's told her, when he's genuine about his life before coming here, that these are his demons, some of them.

"Only when you don't tell me what's going on. You thought he was dead."

"I know he was dead." Loki looked at Darcy, panicked. "What sort of devil's deal did Fury make to bring his pet agent back?"

"I don't know. Coulson spooked me and I don't like him. He messed up my old iPod when he stole it." Darcy makes an annoyed face, and for a moment, Loki seems to cheer up.

"Two of his agents came to the clinic. One of them was posing as a doctor, the other was a patient, recently shot, needed some supplies or something, it was all dodgy."

"It's SHIELD," Darcy said, setting the taser down and sitting next to him. "You want me to order the Thai food and we can get started cleaning this up? Coulson said they've been detecting large amounts of magic, so I think we need to cool the printing presses and live on our salaries a while."

Loki looked at the mess he'd caused and sighed. "I guess we won't be watching a movie then?"

"I have that conference thing in the morning." Darcy said with a sigh "And I already had a bit to drink tonight."

Loki waited until Darcy was asleep to pull out the box full of notebooks where he'd written letters to his mother, and to start a new one, telling her how the slightest threat to his new life and to Darcy's peace away from SHIELD had made him react. He knew he'd never send the letters to Frigga, but it helped to write letters to her, because then he could close his eyes and imagine her response, her calming words, and her suggestions for something to do that would keep him out of trouble until the problem boiled over and simmered down. This time though, he pulled one sheet out, after he finished the longer letter, and penned a simple note that he would actually send.

_Dearest Mother:_

_If it is at all in your power to persuade SHIELD to quit hunting for me, I would be obliged. I'm living as a Midgardian for the moment, learning about their culture and trying to deal with my problems. Asgard wasn't working, as you well know. I miss you. Please give Thor my congratulations on his upcoming wedding to his mortal, even if I find her to be a bit ungainly. I shall not disrupt the ceremony, as I understand it will be a major diplomatic event as well, and Thor will not need my distractions to add to the strain of trying not to commit a faux paus, I'm happier than I've been mother, but this threat of being under SHIELD's watch all the time again threatens that._

_Please just tell the Allfather that I will not be disrupting his machinations._

_Loki._

He'd just finished it and hit send when there's a knock on the door, and he knows who it is before he answers. "Agent Coulson."

"I thought I'd find you here," is all the agent says. "Darcy did pretty well lying, but Skye checked her accounts, and the sudden spate of extra money when you disappeared was a giveaway. I'm surprised. You've been here six months and you haven't caused chaos yet."

"Mother was disappointed in me." Loki says simply. "I'm glad you're alive. I had to find some way to get the Avengers to work together, I needed them to stop the invasion."

Coulson looks at him sadly. "I begged them to just let me die, when they did whatever they did to me. Put some sort of alien blood in me. I can't find anything else out."  
Loki sighed and waved a hand, letting a soft green glow hover over Coulson for a moment, then fade out. "You're healthy. The blood they injected morphed into your bloodstream somehow. I'd demand answers from Fury. Threaten to cause a scene at Thor's wedding. The oaf expects me to, and I won't be there."

"You're not a bag of crazy cats."  
"Would you take it well if you found out that you'd been lied to all your life about multiple things, and that you were the monster that your own supposed brother had sworn to annihilate?" Loki stepped aside. "Darcy's asleep. I'm not waking her up. She has a work conference in the morning."  
"I'm not going to tell SHIELD it's you I found. I'll make up a name and register you in the Asgardians living on Earth log, under my personal jurisdiction. You take one step out of line..."  
"You don't have to tell me twice."  
Coulson shook his head. "I do. Quit forging money. The secret service is a pill to get to quit investigating fake money."

"It's real."  
"The serial numbers."  
Loki huffed. "I'll fix that."

"I'm counting that as part of our system."  
"Darcy needed a new car."  
Coulson doesn't answer, just turns and leaves, while Loki shuts and bars the door, before slumping down. Loki can see the writing on the wall, he knows that sooner or later SHIELD will disrupt the lies that he and Darcy have built. Disrupt them the rest of the way, that is. He considered leaving, but then Darcy would be left dealing with his book galleys, which the publisher had promised were on their way. He hadn't imagined how much work publishing a book could be.

**AN: Writer's block sucks. **

**For anyone who may recognize the tiny things I used from the location I'm sort of using in my head as a basis for where Loki and Darcy are: yes! I'm taking liberties with the place. I love that area, I've spent a lot of time there, but I chose to base it there for sure after I'd already set too many things up in motion to go back and fix the minor errors. No, never been to that pub, hence the lack of description. My vagueness is deliberate, but I will say it's Puget Sound area. **

**I'm probably only going to have a few more parts to this, because honestly, the writer's block sucks majorly. **


	5. Chapter 5

In the end, Darcy realised, the arrangement would have to come to an end at some time. She realised it as she watched Loki sitting, disguised as a woman, doing a day time television interview all about a book that, Darcy huffed, had been her idea that he write.

She just hadn't expected him, a wanted fugitive, to have the gall to publish it and appear on live television, and not on a little backwater cable station. She hadn't expected him to move out, via book tour travelling, which included European stops.

She got messages from him occasionally-emails, the occasional mysterious cryptic message on one of her various social media accounts, when she had time to check them. She'd managed to finally get a post teaching at the community college. It wasn't necessarily what her plan had been originally when she studied political science, but she loved her job now, because she could teach the political science and intrigue that she loves.

It had taken her a week to not expect Loki to stalk out, cranky, hair disheveled, and make some snarky comment before making sure she ate something healthy for breakfast.

It had taken her two days after that to not feel guilty when she ran out the door with just a breakfast bar, or a nutella sandwich, or a nutella to go cup, or any of the quick grab and go meals she had relied on before Loki had moved in and started insisting on healthy food, since she was a "pitiful mortal."

She still lived in the same apartment, since she liked it, and so she wasn't surprised when she came home to find Loki, still a woman, sitting on his couch.

"It's weird seeing you as a woman."  
"It's gotten less weird for me." Loki said, calmly, drinking the last of Darcy's alcohol. "Congratulations on the job. I wondered—can you take a Friday and a Monday off?"

"The semester practically just started, and you've been saying you needed to stay away for my safety, so what now?"

"I figured you might want to go to the superbowl. Our team is in it again. Different quarter-back though."

"When did it become our team?" She asked, feeling irritated, but she was more glad that Loki was okay. She'd heard a rumor that a major wanted fugitive had been captured last month., and she hadn't heard from Loki since then.

"Worried about me?" Loki called her irritation out, and she huffed, slumping onto the couch net to him and turning the tv on to see if there was anything good on.

"I don't want to lose my job," she lied.

"The point is, I have tickets." Loki held out one to her, like it was an olive branch or something.

So Darcy and Loki went to the superbowl again.

This time, she didn't have to explain everything. From the start, it was beer, garlic fries, and cheering, booing, and heckling with the crowd. It felt like old times to Darcy. Loki had quit being a woman for the day, just wearing a beanie over his hair, letting Darcy put a bit of colour into his features, even if it didn't really change much.

Their team didn't win.

As Darcy stumbled towards their rental car, Loki supporting her carefully, she slurred her opinion in not the quietest voice. "You shoulda gone and quarter-backed for 'em again. They haven't ever had a better quarter-back."

"Whatever you say, Darcy. Come on, you're soused."

"Am I? The party is just starting. We gotta celebrate losing."

"Losers never celebrate Darcy," Loki reminded her quietly. "Losers never celebrate, not for long."

"Is it done?" Agent Coulson asked, as Loki stepped out of the hotel room he'd been splitting with Darcy Lewis for the weekend.

Loki swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth and nodded. "I don't know why you have to do it this way."

"Because you broke the rules, and you know what has to happen." Coulson took the empty vial and the ready to dispose of sharp out of Loki's outstretched hands. "Miss Lewis should be fine, hungover, but fine."  
"She'll be mad."

"Miss Lewis seems like the type of woman to see the bigger picture." Coulson held out a file. "Your ID badge, and the briefing for your first mission."  
Loki sighed, taking the file and opening it, pocketing the id quickly. "I can use however much magic I want?"

"Obviously. We need you to finish the job my team and I started four years ago." Coulson turned, ready to leave. "You didn't leave anything behind?"

"Just a note saying I went out for a drive. The news covers the story of my author cover dying in a late night car accident, and I don't ever show up in any public photos or any files anywhere in SHIELD, except for the ID card under my new alias." Loki rattled it off in a monotone. "Tada. You now have your very own sorcerer on your team."

"I hate it all." Coulson said. "Don't scratch Lola."  
"I'm teleporting."  
"Get in the damn car. You only teleport in public situations if there's no other option."

"Fine." Loki reached out to scratch the red car.

"No. Scratching Lola will get you a reaction worse than taking Hawkeye's arrows."

Loki sniggered. "That was a fun one."

**AN: It's over. Translated: I ran out of ideas that I could write decently in the style that I established.**


End file.
